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Hi everyone,
I posted here about a week ago. My son is addicted to gambling. A week ago he was going to stop. Now he is going to ’get it under control.’ It is impossible to talk to him about this horrible addiction ( compulsive gambling ) unless he comes to me first. And, unfortunately, that is when he has lost. I do not know what to do to help him. How do you watch a loved one destroy himself?? I can barely function. I live 100 miles away from the nearest Gam-Anon, and their meetings are on an evening when I can not go due to work. My son will not ask for help. He is young, proud, and, I imagine, afraid. Thank you for listening.
For those teens who are problem gamblers, gambling was a common and visible activity in their home. Teen problem gamblers had early gambling experience, often with a parent or someone else they looked up to. Teens with gambling problems were also likely to be heavier users of tobacco and alcohol, and to have used cannabis.
Jane
Maybe it would help if you found an ex-gambler that could give him some talking to, or show him some people that are in deep in gambling and ask him if that is how he wants to be.
2 WHAT IS A GAMBLING PROBLEM? Your partner or family member has a gambling problem if they are (tick the ones that apply): n Spending too much time gambling or too much time thinking about gambling, neglecting other important activities (e.g. Time with you and your family, work, leisure activities). My Son Has a Gambling Addiction Problem Just about three years ago (it’s now July 2011), I found out about the secret gambling life a family member had been living for a very long time. It immediately brought back memories of my father, a compulsive gambler, now deceased. I have a terrible gambling addiction. Indigo sky casino entertainment schedule. My family is getting close to being fed up with my gambling problem. They’re concerned that I’m just gonna completely implode when I’m gambling. I don’t have to worry or think about all my problems. I just told them that I’m going to the casino. I don’t think they’re happy if I win, I am usually I’m like.
Just a suggestion.
Thank you for the suggestion. I do not know any one, but perhaps I will try to find someone. It is a good suggestion. I am open to any suggestions. At this point I am desperate. I am sorry, I know I need to try to live my own life. I try. Most of the time I do, even if only barely. Sounds terrible, I know. I have got to figure out how to deal with this. I wish I did not live so far from any help.
Jane
Hi Jane,
I am a Compulsive Gambler.. but can help you. I know that sounds very weird, but I’ve have 9 years of experience working in a support group for acting out kids and adult kids. Every addiction imaginable, murder, gangs, runaways and mental illness.. you name it. So.. If you would like I can help you through this.
My heart goes out to you.
Terri
Hi Terri,
Thank you for your offer to help. I very much appreciate it. I know I should not let this affect me so, but at this time it is. I feel for you, a cg. We are all in this together. I hope to help others, also. Do you have any suggestions? Yes, I do need help through this.
Thank you. Jane
I printed some of the pages off of this message board and showed it to my husband and let him know that I joined - I did not say much more than that but he did seem kind of interested and then when he wanted to try ’the allowance idea’ he kind of hinted that I should post that question to see the feedback that I got and he really liked a couple of your guys responses - So, try it out. Don’t badger him with it - just hand him some pages and let him read - Maybe he’ll join.
God Bless and Protect Us ALL - Take Care.
Anita
Hello Anita, and others,
I have told him about this site. At the time he was determined to quit. He said he would check this site out, but he did not. Now, a week later, he is giving into the impulses, and says he will not. He says he can quit, or ’control’ his gambling on his own. He cannot. I am terribly frightened for him..
I just had a thought. I have asked my son to visit this site. At first he said he would, a week later ’no.’ (As I believe I said already) Do any of you have an idea on how I can, or if there is something I can say to him to get him to come to this site? I am careful with what I say to him, I do not tell him what to do. Only try to suggest. Right now he seems to be literally going crazy, because he is trying to stop.
Thank you again, and the best to all of you. Jane
Hi Jane, I’m a Compulsive Gambler.
It’s unfortunate, but most of us can’t get help until we admit we are powerless over gambling. Maui nites casino billings mt. Any thoughts we have that we can control it or limit it is really just another way the disease warps our thinking. And yes, he probably is literally going crazy..I was totally shocked at the feelings of withdrawal I had when I first became gambling-free.
My heart goes out to you..keep coming here for support!
Take care. Shelley.
Hello,
I am trying to understand this addiction (compulsive gambling ). It is hard to understand. I would understand more if I were a cg. I have never had the desire to gamble, drink, or do drugs. I do not understand why some do, and some do not. I know we all have difficult things to deal with, why some of us turn to something destructive, and others don’t I do not know. There are those studying this. Our brains are all different.I know no one starts gambling for the reasons they now gamble, if they are a cg. My son started, for one reason, simply because it was there. EVERYWHERE. We live in Nevada. He makes bets on sports. He knows a lot about sports.
He won a lot of money, at first. He saw a program on t.v. about people making a 6-7 figure living betting on sports. That did it. He thought he could become wealthy. Others do. Yes, they actually do. But what kind of life do they have? Are they able to keep families? And, what is the percentage of those that do make a living at this? VERY small. Now he is addicted, and it is, perhaps HAS, destroyed him. He is very young (20’s). When his brother was in college I went to an orientation at the college. They told us that college students’ (there) biggest serious problem is not drinking, is not drugs, it is gambling. This is SO terrible. I wish the absolute very best for all of you. Hang in there. You deserve a good life. I do not think I can keep coming here and laying my problems on you. I will keep you in my thoughts, and prayers. I simply am feeling too down, too lost, to burden you who are dealing with this demon.
Shelley, artist block is when you are an artist, and you do not do your art. I teach art classes at the community college---I paint for class because I have to. But my own work, it does not get down. My worries get in the way. I have won many awards with my art, could do a lot with it. But my heart is just not in it.
I am sorry for the down mood today. I feel I may never get my son back. I am scared, and, as I said, will not bring this to you. I really do wish all of you the best. Please keep doing good.
Jane.
Jane,
please don’t pull away from the site..no matter what you are feeling there is someone else out there who feels the same. Maybe there are other Moms out there who have been here and read your posts, not thinking to reply, but taking comfort in knowing they are not alone. You are feeling lost, scared and depressed. I can’t possibly know what you are going thru because I’m on the other side of compulsive gambling, but I do know that it’s times like this we NEED to reach out for help. You mentioned that the nearest Gam-Anon meeting is miles away? There should be a phone number, for you to get in contact with someone from the group. Please try..even if you can’t make a meeting, maybe there is some alternative that is available. Just call!! Make that one small step to help yourself feel a little more pro-active in this problem. As a CG, I have absolutely no idea what the basic program is for Gam-Anon. I wish there was another member here that was involved in Gam-Anon.
Please don’t stop posting. Share your feelings, no matter how hard it seems. You are NOT burdening me! The more I progress in my recovery, the more I want to help others recover..and that includes those that are affected by a CG. Please, Jane, just try making the call to Gam-Anon. You have nothing to lose but a little long-distance charge, and maybe everything to gain.
Take care of you.
Shelley
Boyfriend has an online poker problem ›
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my son
By jane - Posted on December 31st, 2007
Tonight I was reading the posts on Paul’s blog, and saw the gambling helper web address. It reminded me of how I met Paul---it was at the gh site. I posted here often, about my son, who is bets on sports. I am not sure anyone will remember; or if anyone is here any longer. It does not look like the site is active. Paul and I communicated often, and he was a big help. As were others here. Here is an update:I Think My Son Has A Gambling Problem Symptoms
My son tryed to quit off and on for some time. Then one day he decided to go to GA meetings. His father and I went with him the first day. He and his father cried at the meeting, hearing what they were hearing. I had already heard such stories, and it was not such a shock to me as it was to them. My son kept going, and it did help. Then he stopped going very often.
Then-------------almost two years ago a new treatment center for gambling addiction opened in the town where he lives. His father and I asked him if he would go, and he said yes. And, he did. He attended meetings there four evenings a week, and 3 evenings a week he went to GA meetings. The treatment program was for about 2 months. He never missed a meeting. I attended meetings for family members twice a week, driving almost 100 miles one way. The more I learned about the addiction, and also the role his father and I had in it (enabling, etc.) the better we were able to help him. (And ourselves.) The treatment center was a life saver. One of the good things about the center, it only costs $5 a meeting. If you do not have the $5, you do not have to pay. They really do want to help the cg. After finishing the program my son turned his finances over to me. I handled his finances for about a year, and now his girlfriend does. He has had one relapse in the last year, but is doing very well. I see the son I had before this nightmare returning more every day. There is hope.
jane
Signs of slot machine addiction
When gambling on a slot machine, the bond between the gambler and the machine becomes personal, no one to interfere with their gambling and no one to compete against. The player feels a fondness for a particular machine and some players even get irritated if they see someone else playing their machine. If the slot player is playing longer than he planned, spending more money than he can afford, and telling lies about how much he wins or loses, perhaps he has a problem. If s/he is concerned about his behavior while gambling and even during periods when the person is away from the casino, perhaps s/he may have a slot machine addiction. Other signs of slot machine addiction include:
1. Belief that you are not gambling with “real money”.
2. Belief that you will win back money that you lost on a slot machine.
3. Cancel delivery slot asda. Developing a personal relationship or bond with a particular slot machine.
4. Feeling irritation when you see someone else playing on “your” slot machine.
5. Playing a slot machine longer than planned.
6. Spending more money on a slot machine than you can afford.
7. Lying about how much you win or lose on a slot machine.
8. Thinking about playing the slots when you are away from a casino.
9. Problems at work, home or in a social setting due to playing the slots.
10. If you think you may have a gambling problem, you probaby do.Slot machines are designed to be addictive
Slot machines are also known as VLTs (video lottery terminals) or pokies. The machines are designed with three or more reels that spin when a button is pushed or a handle pulled. The machines have different themes containing graphics and music from popular movies or TV show. The sounds, colors, and images on slot machines have been designed by psychologists to seduce the player and the music reinforces the addictive behavior.I Think My Son Has A Gambling ProblemsDopamine, adrenaline and slot machines
The rapid response from the machine has a hypnotic effect and stirs up the dopamine in our brains. And the speed of slot machine games keeps the gamblers’ adrenaline pumping. Even if the gambler does not win, the machine makes him feel that he almost did. And for the gambler that can be just as great a feeling as winning the jackpot. In fact, the person can sit there for hours just pushing buttons and zoning out because the games require no thought or skill. Many slot players have commented, “I just couldn’t get up and walk away.”Instant gratification on slot machines
When a person gambles on slot machines they don’t have to think or plan their next move. They don’t have to wait for cards to be dealt, horses to run around a track, or the end of a sports event, to know the score. Playing the slot machines person knows instantly if he won. Even if he didn’t win, the reels show him how close he came to winning. The machine tells the player that it is ready to pay off because the images on the reels were showing us three, four or five of a kind.I Think My Son Has A Gambling Problem MemeSlot machines are the crack cocaine of gamblingI Think My Son Has A Gambling Problem Now
Slot machines are powerful revenue-generating forces designed to keep the player spending more money. The innocence of the slot machine attracts the gambler as he walks through the casino but the slot machine addiction has been described as the crack cocaine of gambling. The money that people gamble on slot machines typically isn’t important and is treated like Monopoly money. Even when the person loses, they believe they will win back all the money they lost to the machine. To compound the losing of money, several ATM machines are located in the gambling area. But what has your experience been? Are you having trouble with slot machine use? Please share your thoughts below, and we will respond to you personally! Marilyn Lancelot is a recovering alcoholic and compulsive gambler with twenty years of recovery. She has authored three books, Gripped by Gambling , Detour, and Switching Addictions. She also publishes a newsletter on-line, Women Helping Women for recovery from gambling. This newsletter has been published for more than 10 years and is read by women and men around the world.
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